Creation Museum Gives “Young Earthers” a Chubby

Recently, a $27 million museum opened near Cincinnati. In most museums, one pays admission to learn historical facts, view important pieces of art, or become culturally enlightened. In this museum, one pays admission to hear fairy tales about how fundamentalist Christians wished science worked. Essentially, “Young Earthers,” or people who believe that the literal translation of the Bible is true and the Earth is only 6,000 years old, start with the conclusion that the Bible is a true book and is to be translated literally, then search for things to prove their theory true and throw out evidence to the contrary. Anyone who has ever graduated from high school knows that this is the opposite of how the scientific method works and is a slap in the face to empirical reasoning.

dumbasses

Download a .pdf file guide to the museum and its lies here.

From the San Fransisco Chronicle:

(05-31) 04:00 PDT Petersburg, Ky. — The glass display case filled with a variety of finches could be in any natural history museum. It is set among exhibits on frogs and lizards, across from a gift shop and a diorama of life in ancient times.

But this is something different: the Creation Museum, a $27 million destination that brings a new level of high-tech polish to anti-evolution argument.

The text below the display case says scientists are “puzzled” by the varieties of finches. “The Bible provides the explanation,” the text continues. “In the beginning of time, six thousand years ago, God created every kind of bird, including the finch kind, and He gave them the ability to ‘multiply on the Earth.’ “

Opening soon, the “Magic Museum,” in which the Finch mystery appears again. This time, the text below the display reads “Once upon a time, a magician used magic pixie dust to create a mysterious finch.”

The 60,000-square-foot museum, which opened this week on 49 acres of lush Kentucky countryside, is the work of Answers in Genesis, a leader in the “young Earth” creationist movement. Unlike proponents of intelligent design — who question aspects of evolutionary theory but may accept that the universe is billions of years old — members of “young Earth” groups insist that the Book of Genesis is an accurate historical record.

Because history began only 6,000 years ago, they argue, dinosaurs discovered in the fossil record must have coexisted with humans. In the diorama that greets museum visitors, models of baby T. rexes cavort among animatronic children clad in buckskin.

How long until the animatronic children get vandalized? Perhaps someone will be clever enough to put a new t-shirt on them?

Dinosaurs, in fact, are all over the Creation Museum: Visitors can plunk down $29.99 for a plastic apatosaurus in the gift shop. Their kids will be able to saddle up on the back of a model triceratops by the coffee bar.

“Kids are fascinated by them,” said Ken Ham, president of Answers in Genesis, who says the creatures have too long been used as propaganda for the evolutionist cause.

Evolutionist cause here meaning “scientific truth.”

“We like to say, ‘You’ve captured them for evolution, and we’re going to take them back,’ ” Ham said.

That’s great. Go ahead and say that. But I totally got dibs on unicorns. Oh shit, you beat us to them.

The museum, with its flat-screen TVs, coffee bar and special-effects theater, is an attempt to go mainstream with an idea that has been widely discredited by modern science. And that is a concern for defenders of evolutionary theory. Campaign to Defend the Constitution, a project of the Tides Center that advocates science education and the separation of church and state, recently compared the museum to cigarette ads focusing on the young.

“This is to science what Joe Camel was to health — a crass marketing ploy that cynically preys on the impressionable minds of children,” campaign co-director Clark Stevens said in a statement.

No, Really? These people wouldn’t be trying to brainwash children, would they?

Ham, a former Australian schoolteacher who founded his ministry in 1979, said he simply wants people to “think about the origins issue” in a new way.

“You have secular museums in every major city that treat evolution as fact, and public schools around this nation treating evolution as fact, and they’re worried about one Creation Museum?

“If evolution is so obvious,” he said with a smile, “why are they so worried?”

We’re worried because you’re making up a ridiculous story that’s known to be untrue and spewing it to children as if it’s science. Stop it, dickhead!

Ham believes many modern Christians have strayed from the basic tenets of their faith because they learned in school that evolution, not Genesis, provided the best blueprint for the story of creation.

Yes, and they also have strayed from the tenets of their faith because they learned that stoning people is bad.

Creationists already boast one smaller museum, called the Museum of Creation and Earth History, in Santee (San Diego County), as well as a number of roadside attractions in the region. The Kentucky museum takes creationist tourism to a new level. Its chief designer, Patrick Marsh, designed the “Jaws” and “King Kong” attractions at Florida’s Universal Studios.

That should tell you something. The man who built two attractions, both based on oversized fictional characters from the movies has contributed to your attraction – congrats.

Organizers are expecting to attract 250,000 yearly visitors, who will pay $9.95 to $19.95 for a ticket.

I’d say that’s about $30 too much. Yes, I believe one should be paid to visit this “museum.”

Beyond the diorama of the dinosaurs and children is a reproduction of a narrow slot canyon from the Grand Canyon. A video on a flat-screen television asks “Have you ever wondered where canyons come from?” laying the groundwork for a recurring assertion: that the Grand Canyon was not carved out over millions of years by the Colorado River, but by a rush of water created by the great flood described in Genesis.

The Answers in Genesis group believes the story of the ark to be literally true. After the ark ran aground in Central Asia, the museum says, the surviving animals repopulated the other continents by floating across the oceans on the “billions of trees” uprooted by the great deluge.

Oh shit. Cmon. You really believe that?

It is those kinds of assertions that make scientists such as Lawrence Krauss laugh out loud.

“That’s remarkable,” said Krauss, a physicist and astronomer at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland. “Any child knows that when they make up a story, and unfortunately make up the facts, they have to make up more and more excuses to justify those facts.”

I hope that in a few years, we won’t hear anything more about this despicable group of brainwashing rats and there museum goes under. But I hope that doesn’t happen until after I have the chance to visit the “museum” and ridicule it.

Learn More Here.

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UPDATE
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Here’s video from inside the joint!

4 Responses to Creation Museum Gives “Young Earthers” a Chubby

  1. [...] The Great Realization) Technorati Tags: atheist, atheism, Creation Museum, DefCon Share This Popularity: 1% [...]

  2. robber.baron says:

    I’m attempting to convince my friend to visit this on a road trip we are planning this summer.

    I’d like to go and pretend that we are leading a tour of realists through their museum similar to how there is that program that leads creationist tours through real museums. I thought it would be fun to hoist the Creationists on their own petard.

    Then again I’d just be happy to be the first guy kicked out of the place for loudly discussing Evolution.

  3. Guest Article: Moses Didn’t Write About Creation!!

    Previously, an article was written about “The Pending Marriage of Science and Genesis”.
    That, and the article even previous to that (The Divorce of Science From Humanism)
    were forerunners to this culmination. After more than fifteen years of rejections by other
    publishers, the revelation of the truth of Genesis will now be available for all to examine.

    The book promotes “Biblical Reality”, which states that Genesis, written by Moses, was
    never about Creation (Week). Moses had written down (perhaps by one or more
    designated scribes) what God had revealed to him while he was with God on Mt. Sinai in
    1598 BC. Creationism and theology have mistakenly believed that Moses was writing
    about how our Earth & universe were created, but not so. God revealed to Moses seven
    defined geological ages of the historical past to Moses. Even Moses didn’t understand
    what he saw, but he just had it written down for later generations to learn and perhaps
    someday understand. That final understanding would not occur until December 1993,
    being about 3,604 years later. How timeless is the Word of God?

    Unfortunately, creationism and theology have not done their homework, and continue to
    teach false doctrines, namely “young Earth” beliefs (Creation Science), theistic evolution
    (“Reasons to Believe”), long creation days (“Day-Age” theories), and Ruin & Restoration
    (“Gap” theories) doctrines. Every single one of them are in error, including “progressive
    creationism”, and are a misrepresentation of the Genesis text. The “Bible believing
    community” can either jump on board with the truth of Genesis, or stand on the sidelines,
    and continue promoting their own proven false teachings.

    However, there is another “front” that this book is doing battle against, which is the insanity of secular science concerning our origins and prehistoric history of our Earth and
    universe. Our creation occurred 4.57 billion years ago (according to the science of
    geology), completing in six days (Exodus 20:11), with God “resting” on the seventh day
    of a 168 hour week. But God did not reveal that week to Moses. God revealed only one
    day from Creation Week, and one day each from the first week of the six following
    geological ages of mankind. The seven days which were revealed to Moses (aka “the
    Observations of Moses”) were not revealed in chronological order, but in what’s called
    “Biblical Order”, which any theologian or “bible scholar” worth their salt should be able
    to ascertain. Here is where the current ignorance of mainstream theology will be made known for all to see.

    To preview what the book (“Moses Didn’t Write About Creation!!”) shall convey, go to:
    http://hometown.aol.com/ephraim7/myhomepage/index.html.
    There, it will keep you abreast of when the book will be available, and how to obtain a
    copy. In the book, the true “Origin of Satan” is revealed. Also, comprehensive coverage
    of the “Extra-Celestial Civil War” (aka “the war in Heaven”) is given, what brought it
    about, when it ended, and why Satan was allowed to do his evil deeds in this universe.

    It is a given that secular science shall at first criticize the work, calling it “a new attempt
    to harmonize science with religious literature”. Afterwards, they may try to call it “a
    convenient coincidence”. But what will the worlds of current creationism and theology
    do? Close ranks, “get on board” and accept the truth, or remain defiant and criticize from
    the sidelines, as the Sanhedrin did in 27 AD?

    Herman Cummings
    Ephraim7@aol.com
    PO Box 1745
    Fortson GA, 31808
    706 662-2893

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